


Army Marks

by Kelmikiti



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Army, And Merlin is the biggest shit of them all, Harry is a Little Shit, Love Bites, M/M, but so is Eggsy, poor roxy, some homophobia from Chester King
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-05-05 21:05:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5390363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelmikiti/pseuds/Kelmikiti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>3 Times Harry left love bites on Eggsy and once Eggsy got payback</p>
            </blockquote>





	Army Marks

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on that one tumblr post:  
>  AHAHAHAHHAA MY FRIEND GOT IN TROUBLE FOR “DESTRUCTION OF GOVERMENT PROPERTY GUESS WHAT SHE DID?? SHE GAVE HER HUSBAND A HICKEY. HER HUSBAND IS A MARINE, THE HICKEY WAS VISIBLE WHILE HE WAS IN UNIFORM, SO SHE GOT A CALL SAYING “YOU HARMED GOVERNMENT PROPERTY, DON’T DO IT AGAIN” I’M DYING
> 
> Also I know absolutely nothing about the Royal Army, sorry.

I

“What the hell is that, Private Unwin?” Merlin asked Eggsy when he walked back into barracks after his weekend leave. Eggsy was wearing his boot camp uniform and Merlin was examining him with hawk eyes. Eggsy turned around after putting down his duffle.  
“What the ‘ell is what?” Eggsy confusedly reached up to straighten his collar that was, admittedly, a bit crooked.   
“Not the collar and we’re not back at home, so you’ll address me as Sir or Corporal”, Merlin said sternly, “The problem is that you look like a vampire has just released you from their lair.”   
Eggsy’s fingers brushed against the angry markings on his neck and he flushed slightly.   
“I’m sorry, Sir, you know how Harry gets…” Eggsy tried to mumble but Merlin shushed him.   
“He’s gone and damaged government property; it’s not a thing I can take lightly.” Merlin said gleefully.  
“Government property? What the fuck you smoking, Merl- er, Sir”, Eggsy dropped his hand. He was amused, yet horrified of what Merlin just said.   
“I’ll have to call Harry about this, remind him not to mark you where you aren’t to be marked.” Merlin nodded and left the building promptly to make his call.

“Apparently I have damaged that, which belongs to my Queen and country”, Harry chuckled into the phone as he saw Eggsy’s name light up on the screen, “Merlin has made me swear never to repeat myself.”   
“I thought I belonged to you”, Eggsy answered settling in his bunk for the night, “You know, with the whole marriage thing.”   
“Mmh, Merlin seems to be of the opinion that the Queen comes before me and so it must be”, Harry mused, “And so it shall be, I must be careful with your delicate skin, my love, once you come back from this training week.”  
“If it weren’t for the Queen I’d have you not be careful at all”, Eggsy smiled devilishly to himself, knowing Harry loved to leave marks on him, “See you in a week.”   
“Yes, I shall.”   
With a click the conversation was over and Harry went back to fussing with JB the pug.

 

 

II

General Chester King was renowned for his intolerance. He was intolerant in every part of his life, he disliked when things weren’t in order, when things weren’t proper and especially when things diverted from the norm in any way. He liked to make rounds at the barracks, just to scare new recruits into shape. Chester King was a ghost story to scare the young ones, especially Merlin and James, who for some reason or another was nicknamed Percival, liked to spread rumours about people being kicked out by Chester King.

Eggsy couldn’t give a damn about General Chester King. He was well familiar with the man, and disliked him wholly. In fact, King was part reason Harry had gotten his dishonourable discharge from the Army. When Harry had served King had made it his personal agenda to get Harry kicked out, for flirting with other officers. Harry had made it to Sergeant rank and all when he’d been wrongfully accused of habitually mistreating supplies and had been released from his duty. King might have also made a nod towards treason in there somewhere.

So Eggsy really couldn’t say he had any love for the superior officer.   
“Cadets off your arses, the King is approaching”, Merlin came into the barrack, face flushed, taking the room in with a single glance, “And for the love of god straighten your beds and bunks.” Eggsy was on his feet fast, straightening out his bed and then falling in line with Roxy. They had met in Cadet School and taken to each other fast.   
“Think he’ll pick on me?” Eggsy grinned at Roxy who smiled back mischievously. Merlin had come to inspect the line and spotted Eggsy who was sporting red marks all over his neck.  
“I’ve told Harry so many times…”, Merlin turned his eyes up to the ceiling, “You better hope he doesn’t notice those.”  
“Notice what? How your Cadets can’t even form a straight line?” In walked General Chester King and all the Cadets straightened their backs and lifted their chins, all smiles falling from their faces. Merlin didn’t even answer him, just let him examine them all, person by person.

Coming to Eggsy, King stopped to examine him.  
“This is the Army not Sixth form”, King said, turning to Merlin, “So would you like to tell me why Cadet Unwin has a neck full of lovebites?” He had to turn back to check Eggsy’s name from the front of his uniform but was now facing Merlin.   
“He had the weekend off Sir”, Merlin said simply. King examined Merlin from head to toe and then faced Eggsy again.  
“Is your wife a little eager then?” King asked in good spirits, spotting the ring on his finger. It seemed to all that he was accepting this spout of weekend love.  
“My husband, Sir”, Eggsy said and Roxy was suppressing a giggle. King’s face fell and so did his kindness.   
“And are you aware that this”, he poked one of the marks with a sharp jab, “is destruction and damaging government property, your… husband has committed a felony.”   
“Sir, yes Sir”, Eggsy said cheekily, keeping a straight face.   
“I’ll be contacting him”, King said threateningly.  
“Oh he’ll love that, Sir. You and him go way back”, Eggsy answered, “You do remember Harry Hart?” If it was possible, King’s face fell further.   
“Dismissed”, He shouted as he took his leave of the barracks. Merlin sent a pointed look at Eggsy, as he and Roxy dissolved into giggles.

 

 

III

“Eggsy you can’t keep doing this!” Roxy said, frantically searching for her oil based concealer, “you’re lucky we’re about the same colour.” Eggsy was just relaxing on his bunk.   
“Don’t worry Rox, Merlin won’t say nothing”, Eggsy smiled, as she found what she’d been looking for.   
“Don’t you remember the last time? ‘I’ll have to ground you for a week if this happens one more time’”, Roxy kneeled and started working on the hickeys, yet again littering his neck and throat.   
“Oh shit, you’re right”, Eggsy tensed up, “quick, get that stuff on there.” and so began the lathering of many layers of concealer. By the time they’d finished you could see the markings faintly, if you were looking for them.

Merlin got in, in the afternoon, looking over the bunks. Eggsy had resumed his spot on his bed, not noticing that the concealer has started to rub off of his skin and onto the pillowcase. Merlin’s sharp eyes missed nothing.  
“Up Unwin”, he said and took a handkerchief from his pocket. With it he rubbed some of the make-up off of Eggsy’s neck.   
“Nice try, Unwin”, Merlin said, “This is getting a bit old though, seeing as I’ll have to make the call to Harry again. Just be glad it was me not King this time. Actually…” Merlin turned to look at Roxy.  
“I see your hand in this Morton”, Merlin said happy as a man could be, “You’ll be calling Harry.” Roxy’s face melted into pure horror.

“Uhh Harry, Sir, I mean Mr. Hart, it’s me, Roxanne Morton, you know Eggsy’s friend”, Roxy was stuttering into the phone, that was on speaker. Merlin was silently laughing in the corner of the room and Eggsy was there for moral support.   
“Yes, Roxy, what is it? Is anything the matter?” Harry said, polite as ever.   
“I, well, this is awkward, but you’ve yet again damaged government property”, Roxy said, “Merlin, I mean the Corporal, is making me call you to inform you.”   
“Thank you Cadet Morton, I am now informed”, Harry was clearly amused, “What are my repercussions?”   
“I beg your pardon?” Roxy asked, looking to Merlin for help.  
“Do I get a fine or am I to go to jail?” Harry asked. Eggsy sighed. Harry was being a little shit. Merlin was having the time of his life, ignoring all of Roxy’s pleads for help.   
“I suppose it’s a warning for now”, Roxy shrugged.   
“Hm, thank you, I’ll take this warning into consideration.” Harry said, “now Merlin stop taking advantage of the situation and Eggsy, see you tomorrow.” They ended the phone call then, Roxy still mortified and Eggsy beaming at the cell phone.

 

 

 

+I

“I’m so proud of you”, Eggsy said, kissing Harry, a hand in his hair, another wandering all over his body. Harry was to be reinstated as Staff Sergeant. Now formerly General, Chester King had been found guilty of treason, selling information to enemies of the state, and all of his cases had been re-examined. Harry had been found innocent and he was getting a public apology from the Queen herself. They had just picked up their Mess uniforms from the drycleaners and they hung on the cupboard door forgotten.   
“I’m so happy to be your subordinate”, Eggsy’s kisses left Harry’s mouth and traveled down, his clever fingers were buttoning Harry’s shirt open. Teasing hands were distracting Harry from the fact that Eggsy was leaving a considerably large mark where his neck meets the jaw…

 

“I can’t believe you, Eggsy”, Harry said exasperated, as Merlin was virtually dying of laughter, “You do know I’m meeting the Queen today?”  
“You’ve done this to me half a dozen times and now I’m the villain!” Eggsy grinned, “come off it, love, you didn’t say you didn like it yesterday.” He brushed of Eggsy’s red coat and pulled him forward for a kiss.  
“You’re right, but if the Queen asks why her property has been damaged, you’re doing the explaining.”


End file.
